All My Dreams
by LostInTranslation226
Summary: There's more to Sebastian Smythe than meets the eye. He has a reason for acting the way does. He's not what people thinks he is. This is his story, and explanation why he did what he did, and the people that made him want to do it. Rated T for swearing.


Sebastian Smythe. You may know him as Head Douche Bag of Bitchville. Or the guy who tried to break up the wondrous and all mighty Klaine. But there is more to him than that. Isn't there always? People usually don't just become an asshole for no reason. More often than not, there is a reason.

His reason started when he was eight years old. His parents started to fight. They tried to hide it from him and his two older siblings at first, but as it got worse, it didn't even matter anymore. Usually either Mr. or Mrs. Smythe would storm off after a while, leaving the other to take out the rest of their anger and frustration on their children. Going home to that was scary for little Sebastian. Believe it or not, Sebastian used to be shy.

The fighting went on like that for two more years, until his parents got a divorce.  
And no matter how much they fought, the Smythe family took the divorce hard. Mr. Smythe left, leaving Mrs. Smythe with her three kids. She dove into her work. Sebastian's older brother Eric, who was 15, started doing drugs. Their 13 year old sister Ariel started to failing school. Their whole family was screwed up.

And what did ten year old Sebastian Smythe do? He put the ASS in SebASStian. At the ripe old age of 10, not even a teenager yet, he started to push people away. Emotions were for tools. He told himself he didn't need friends. He re-trained himself not to be nice. He talked back to every teacher. He picked on the kids who used to be his only friends. Sebastian Smythe was no longer that nerdy, shy kid. No. He was a whole different person now. The only thing that remained of his old self, the only thing Sebastian allowed to be the same about him, was that he still sang. The only thing that actually made Sebastian feel an emotion that wasn't negative, was singing.

When adults witnessed this drastic change in the boy, they thought he was just going through a phase. Or that he was still trying to cope with the divorce. Which was true. But Sebastian didn't change back. By fourteen, Sebastian was no longer a bully or a jerk. He was a full grown dickhead. Even when he went out partying and started making out with some random guy, people didn't dare insult Sebastian Smythe. Kids just added another name to the list of things that Sebastian was. Gay. But that didn't stop girls from approaching him at school and at parties, trying to hook up with him. Sebastian didn't stop them either. Another name. Man whore. If they really cared what they called Sebastian, they might have labelled him bisexual.

But Sebastian just didn't care anymore. He wasn't going to be one of those fools who fell in love and got broken. He wasn't going to be the idiot who has friends that don't understand him, don't actually care about him, that stab him in the back.

But there were a few times when Sebastian slipped up. He was only human. Three times, three different people cracked his ice cold armour, got under his skin.

The first time was in Paris.

One of the only other exchange students at his fancy boarding school who spoke English, was Stacey Willis. She was from Toronto, Canada, and was probably the silliest girls Sebastian had met. She was always talking about the most random and unimportant things. She laughed all the time, except when she was focusing on schoolwork, and when she doing martial arts. That was probably the most surprising thing about her. She could kick your ass if you crossed her. Not many people did. Who would want to cross such a sweet and bubbly girl? Sebastian tried not to be interested in her. He tried to break her, take away her innocence. Nothing ever worked. She just kept on being civil to him.

One day Sebastian finally crossed the line.

"I know you'll give in sometime, Stace. You know because you could lose your virginity to me or your dad. Your choice." he said with a wink.  
Stacey exploded.

"Sebastian William Smythe. You don't know anything about me. You don't know anything about anyone, because you're always pushing them away. You always take but never give. You can't see anything because your head is too far up your ass. Do you think that trying to fuck every person in this school, will make people like you? Do you think by keeping their heads down and staying away from you, people respect you? Fear you? No. They all hate you. If you could just stop being so self centered and big-headed, you might find that your not the only person in the world that matters. You might find that there people worse off than you. You might find out that by pushing people away or just using people is not going to get you far and you'll just end up miserable and alone for the rest of your petty life. So fuck you Sebastian."

The petite blonde glared at him, daring him to make an innuendo. A smart remark. On normal circumstances, he might have. But something stopped him. Satisfied that Sebastian kept his mouth shut for once, Stacey stormed out the dining hall.

After a few minutes, after the whole school had glanced at him, wondering what he was going to do, Sebastian followed her. He hadn't felt this bad since for six years.

Sebastian found her in the music room. Stacey was sitting on the piano bench crying. She hadn't noticed him yet. He crossed the room and sat down beside her on the bench.

"What are you doing here?" Stacey said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'm sorry."

"You're never sorry. What's the catch." There was a pause.

"There isn't one. I didn't mean to upset you... so much. I just..."

"You just what?"

"I don't even know anymore. "The two sat in silence for a bit. After a while, Sebastian started to play a little tune on the piano. He played it through a few times and started to sing along quietly.

"I can hear 'em playing, I can hear the ringing of a beat up old guitar, I can hear 'em singing; keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart." Stacey had stopped crying and there was more silence.

"I'm sorry." Stacey whispered.

"Why are you sorry? You just said what everyone wished they had the balls to say."

"But I still had no right to say that."

"What are you talking about? I was being a dickhead and you'd had enough. There's nothing you should apologize for."

"It's just..." Stacey started to cry again. Sebastian hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. Stacey sunk into his embrace. "You were right."

Sebastian wasn't expecting that. "About what?"

"I was... I was... I..."

"Shh. It's okay. You don't have to tell me."

Stacey took a deep breath "I was raped by my father."

"What?" Sebastian practically screeched. "That is so sick! How could he do that to you? How...? What...? That's..." Sebastian spluttered angrily. He knew that he was known for his "sexual reputation", but there was a line that he would not cross. He hugged the small girl in his arms tighter.

From that moment on, Sebastian was hooked. There was no way he was going to let go of Stacey now.

Until about four months later.

Sebastian and Stacey had been dating for about two and a half of those months. She had changed him. They went out one night to a party. Long story short, the got drunk and had sex. And a few weeks later, Stacey told Sebastian that she was pregnant. Shoulda seen that one coming, eh? Sebastian freaked out. He had screwed up and he had screwed up bad. The two of them were only 16. Neither of their parents would support them nor would they care if they found out.

The summer was coming up, and Sebastian and Stacey were going home, or to their summer homes. They texted each other a little over the summer, the occasional "how are you doing" and small talk. They never talked about the baby.

It was about mid-august when Stacey dropped the bomb on Sebastian. Out of the blue she texted him "I got an abortion."

Sebastian never replied to Stacey. In fact, he never talked to her again. He went back to being an asshat. Stacey had broken him.

He transferred to Dalton Academy which was near his home town.

But not three months into the school year, he had fallen again. This time for a broccoli head turned grease palooza named Blaine Anderson.

He was just so nice and happy and optimistic, and so unlike Sebastian. Just like Stacey. Sebastian started to question his taste.

And Blaine just had to have a boyfriend. But no matter, Sebastian thought. Might as well have fun. Blaine didn't completely tear away his armour like Stacey had, but obviously Sebastian was nice enough to be considered as Blaine's friend.

And then Blaine had to go and be all chivalrous and step in front of Kurt. And the tampered Slushie got him right in the eye.

'Way to be Seb. Way to woo him.' he thought to himself. Why couldn't he have someone like that. Someone willing to take a bullet for him? Oh that's right, because emotions are for fools and tools and Sebastian had given up on those. Especially since the last time he had slipped up, he had knocked up the girl he cared about.

So he forced himself to get over Blaine.

He was too much like a puppy anyway. Sebastian didn't like puppies.

And then Santana came along. She had a tough life, she was cold, she was a bitch, and Sebastian knew she was exactly like him.

There was never really anything more than sexual tension between them, but that was what Sebastian wanted and needed. No real emotions. Except that Santana ended up running back to the blondie, because she had said she didn't want to hurt her.

So Sebastian went back to the bars and one night stands and the hangovers on Sundays. Too many things had happened in the last year. Too many feelings and too many screw ups.

And truth be told, when he heard the news about Dave Karofsky, he actually let himself feel. Sympathy, regret, guilt, sadness, anger, remorse, confusion. He let himself feel for an entire weekend. And when he got back to school on Monday, he decided what to do. He needed to do something. Sebastian did the one thing he could actually do. He sang. At Regionals. For Dave. For Santana. For Blaine. For Stacey. For himself. And it felt good.

So he stopped. He stopped being the cold, armoured, walled in, idiot he had made himself become for almost seven years. He started to try to find out who he really was. He started to feel again. He started to get shit together.

He went to visit his father. He came home from Dalton and helped his mother. He went to Cleveland to visit his sister. He started to read for fun. He started to take guitar lessons. He took a creative writing class. A home ec. class. He even found Stacey.

And he found himself.

It took him a while, but Sebastian finally figured out who he actually was. He had wasted seven years trying to protect himself, and all Sebastian had done was hurt himself more.

Sebastian learned how to live.

After taking a year off after high school, Sebastian went to college for a music degree. Four years later, Sebastian found himself in a band with a record label and two hit singles.  
He wasn't known as Sebastian Smythe Head Douche Bag of Bitchville anymore. He was known as Sebastian Smythe from ReStart who sang and wrote the songs "Regrets Made" and "What You've Been to Me".

And life was pretty damn good.

One day, Sebastian was hiding out in a coffee shop in LA, trying not to be noticed by fans as he was trying to write a song. He was almost done his (cold) coffe, when. A large shadow loomed over him. Sebastian didn't look up in case it was a fan.

"Can I sit here? All the other tables are full." Sebastian scanned the room. It was pretty full in here.

"Sure." he replied, still not looking at the stranger.

"Whatcha writing there?"

"Uh... A song."

"Really? That's cool. I'm Dave by the way." Sebastian finally looked at the man sitting across from him.

Dave Karofsky had his hand outstretched for him to shake. His face also showed surprise when he realized who he had sat with.

"Sebastian?"

"Haha, yup."

Silence.

Sebastian cleared his throat. "Look man, I'm sorry about back in highschool. I just..."

Dave cut him off. "You have nothing to apologize for. It was a long time ago, and I'm past that. But if it makes you feel better, your apology is accepted."

They both smiled.

"So I hear you're doing pretty well for yourself? How's the "being famous" thing going for ya?" Dave joked.

They started to talk about their jobs and the conversation just started to flow. To soon, it seemed, Dave checked his watch and told Sebastian he needed to go. They exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again.

And they did. Multiple times. They hung out for about two months before both of them realized that they wanted more than friendship. So they started dating. It was great.  
Sebastian loved Dave. He was truly just a big Teddy Bear, but he was also a protector. He was funny and really knew how to cook. He loved him everything that made Dave, Dave.

So he proposed after three years of being together. Through song. And Dave said yes.  
Soon, the couple started to think about kids.

Six months later, they were adopting two-year-old Spencer Karofsky-Smythe.

It wasn't until three years later, when Seb and Spencer had visited Dave at his job as a sports agent, to walk home together, when Dave realized something. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Kurt was right."

His husband looked at him, confused.

"Back when... When I was in the hospital, Kurt came and talked to me. He told me to imagine myself ten years from then. This is what I imagined. I have the perfect job, husband, and kid. All my dreams came true."

Sebastian smiled looking down at Spencer who was holding both of their hands. He thought about his bandmates. He looked over at his husband.

"Mine too."


End file.
